


I am the noise

by VioletMarie



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mentions of Abortion, Mentions of Sex, Probably because I'm weird, Running Away, Substance Abuse, Underage Drinking, Why Did I Write This?, who else loves makeovers?!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 17:56:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20344288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletMarie/pseuds/VioletMarie
Summary: Agatha Mills leaves her home with little money and no backup plan. She manages to get to Clearthorn, Ohio. There she meets five other troubled young adults. Over time, their traumas bleed into each other and it gets harder and harder for Agatha to stay in touch with reality.





	I am the noise

After drifting in and out of consciousness, my eyes finally open to the sunlight flooding the kitchen. I’m still on the floor, my head throbbing from the hit to the granite counter. I push myself in a sitting position, whimpering when the pain in my head intensifies. I remember my mother, her hand in my hair, throwing me into the counter. I remember collapsing to the cool tile, shaking in fear as I attempted to get up. I remember my mother kicking me back down.

I also remember the look in her eyes, the pure venom and hate that stared at me when I cried for her to stop. I look down to see the bruises blooming over the fresh red dots on my arms. It’s funny, how the hurt I’ve given myself has been replaced with hurt from someone else. 

_ “Agatha, do what you need to do. Just don’t drag me into it and keep your fucking mouth shut.” _

I look down at my stomach, letting out a sob. Being eighteen had made the procedure easier, but that hasn't stopped that bitch Meghan Louis from calling my mother after seeing me leave the Planned Parenthood building. Since I still live at home, my mother waiting in the kitchen for me wasn’t surprising. Hearing her scream, “You goddamn baby killer!” at me was what shocked me. 

My arms reach up to the granite countertop and I push myself onto my feet. I keep my head down as I shuffle to the bathroom. After closing the door, I look at my reflection in the mirror. Bruises are forming on my arms and my face. I splash my face with water. I peel my dirty clothes off of me after turning on the shower. I wait until the steam coats the mirror to step in. When I do, the hot water stings the tiny dots and lines lacing my hips. I close my eyes as I lean against the shower wall. To my regret, it comes flooding back to me.

_ “Oh god! Oh my God!” I yelled, falling off of Jaden Hall’s bed.  _

_ I looked around, pulling the sheet up closer to my body. I looked up to see Jaden looking at me in surprise. _

_ “Jesus, Agatha, calm down.” He said. _

_ “Wha-” I started _

_ I blinked a few times, trying to remember what exactly had happened. I remembered the beginning of Hailey Hall’s party, how she and I had been downing all the drinks from her father’s liquor cabinet.  _

_ “Were we drunk?” I demanded. _

_ “Well, you sure as hell were.” He chuckled.  _

_ My heart sank as I began to feel a sickness that wasn’t from the hangover.  _

_ “You mean- you were sober?!” I shouted. _

_ “Well, yeah. I was just coming home from work when you started throwing yourself at me.” I watched Jaden roll his eyes. _

_ He got out of bed and began to get dressed. He tossed my clothes at me as he proceeded to the bathroom to brush his teeth. I quickly threw on my dress and tugged my panties up my legs before chasing after him.  _

_ “Why would you do that?!” I cried. _

_ “Ags, you were begging me. What was I supposed to do?” He demanded. _

_ “Say no! Hand me over to Hailey! Anything other than taking advantage of a drunk girl who is YOUR SISTER’S AGE!” I screamed. _

_ “For god’s sake!” He exclaimed, “ Stop making me sound like that. I’m sorry if regret what happened last night, but you can’t make up this tale that I took advantage of you!” _

_ He pushed past me, leaving me teary-eyed and confused.  _

I open my eyes, sharply inhaling. The water has turned cold, so I quickly wash my hair and shave my legs. I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I wrap a towel around myself. 

“Aggie?”

I look to the doorframe and see Claire staring at me.

“Hey,” I reply.

“Is it true? What mom said?” She asks.

“What did she say, Claire?” I ask, fearing the answer.

Her face morphs into disgust.

“You got an abortion, didn’t you?” She spits out.

“Claire, you need to understand-”

She cuts me off, “So not is my older sister a slut, she’s also a murderer.”

My throat closes up at her accusations. I blink tears out of my eyes. I try to walk to her, but my sister runs away. 

“You’re lucky it’s not illegal yet, bitch!” She shouts at me.

I hear her bedroom door slam and I slump against the doorframe. Breaths are becoming painful and shallow as the tears rapidly pour from my eyes. I run to my room and find my bag of needles. I pluck one out and spin it through my fingers. I lift the shaggy towel, exposing my hip bone. I press the needle and drag. A thin scratch appears, tiny dots of blood becoming visible. Disgusted with myself, I throw the needle.

It was the right decision. Not the popular one. Abortion is never a popular decision in Halen, Alabama. But I’m sure it was the only option for me. Had my parents found out I was pregnant, I would have been married to that bastard before my first ultrasound. 

But the guilt, the tug at my brain that my mother and sister are right overwhelms me. 

I collapse onto my bed. I can’t stay. I need to leave. God, I have to leave. 

That’s when it dawns on me. 

I’m eighteen, a legal adult. I can leave.

I scrambled out of bed and I lift my mattress. My hand feels for the phone Ty bought me when he moved away. I pull it out and dial his number. He answers on the third ring.

“Aggie, how did it go?” My brother asks immediately.

“It went well, I just had to take a pill,” I respond.

“Good, good. There are some real horror stories out there. Like there was this one guy who-”

“Ty, mom found out,” I interject.

“Oh my god!” Ty gasped, “What did she do? Are you okay?”

“She hurt me,” I whimper. “She’s really mad. I can’t stay here, you need to help me leave.”

“Aggie, I need you to calm down and just think,” Ty says.

“Please! Just a ride to the bus station, I have money.” I beg, “I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared.”

He sighs, “Drew and I will be there in thirty minutes. Be packed and ready.”

“Thank you!” I burst. 

He hangs up.

I quickly get dressed, shoving on a t-shirt and shorts. I grab all the comfortable clothes I can find and shove them in a bag. In goes my toothbrush, toothpaste, wallet, needles, socks, underwear, hair ties, phone, yarn, and deodorant. I do one more check in the mirror before leaving. For a second I see a young adult finding an escape. But then I see a too little girl making too big decisions as she walks straight to hell. 

Great.

**Author's Note:**

> omg omg omg. I can't believe I just posted that! Please comment your honest thoughts. I might not upload new chapters every week, but i'll try!!!


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